Weapons?

Nubbins explained to me the basic plot of the Arthur C. Clarke inspired movies 2001, 2010, and 2061, and they were fascinating, so I read up on them on Wikipedia. Wow, lesson learned. If you don't want to ruin the experience of watching a movie, don't go reading the synopsis on Wikipedia. The plot synopsis was less of a synopsis then a dry recounting of each scene, shot by shot. (As an aside, I just checked a few other movies to see if they plot summaries are as detailed, and the certainly are. Don't read about a movie on Wikipedia before you see it.) Still, when Cougar got "2001: A Space Odyssey" on Netflix, I watched it and tried to pretend I didn't know what was going to happen. It's a beautiful movie, if overly long, but what I found most compelling about the entire movie was the part right at the beginning where early hominids learn from an alien object how to use weapons. What a fascinating idea: that mankind only was able to set itself apart from other animals with the help of an alien intelligence. Too bad it's been shown that many other animals use tools, and Chimps even use weapons.

Speaking of Cougar, and to follow up on my previous post about going to Acapulco, I brought a few gifts back for everyone, and one of the things I shared with Cougar is a mild case of Montezuma's Revenge. Some quick history: Cortes and his Spaniards made incredible demands of the Aztecs, all of which were met, and they still took the Aztec emperor Montezuma captive. Montezuma was later killed, although whether it was the Spanish or unhappy Aztecs who did it is a question lost to history. My money says it was the Spanish; their track record with captive native emperors isn't so good. So in essence the Spanish obtained enormous wealth, power, and global prestige, while I got a case of traveler's diarrhea. Which I then dutifully passed, along with a really nice pitcher for margaritas and a pair of maracas, to Cougar.

Apparently it's given her quite the case of flatulence at work. Maybe I should have also brought her a pair of panties that will capture the release. Or maybe she should just become a Fartist! No really! Apparently in ancient times, before the invention of television, you could actually make a living with fart jokes! I guess I was born a little too late.

My favorite story of a fartist from wikipedia is of the Japanese "fart dancer" Oribe, who tricked his rival into trying to mimic him, which led to his rival "soiling and thus disgracing himself". No really. It was like the Zoolander and Hansel walkoff on steroids.

Now, just to bring it full circle, remember that part in Zoolander when Derek and Hansel are trying to use the computer, and banging and hooting like apes? It's a parody of 2001, when the apes learn to use weapons. And I'm going to fart.